Colorado Guy

Marshmellow Snack Cake Smashed Against Steve's Forehead

Increased "Fantasy Football Anxiety" Over Week 5 Match Up Blamed - August 7, 2007

Steve BUENA VISTA, COLORADO -- Steve "Colorado Guy" Garufi smashed an orange marshmellow snack cake against his forehead to cope with the intense anxiety he feels over his fantasy football match-up this week. His team, the "Garbage Cans," will win or lose based on how two Dallas Cowboys players perform tonight.

"I'm so nervous about this match-up and I really need the win," explained Steve, "I'm 2-2 and it's so important that I stay in the upper half of my league."

According to Steve, he purchased the Freshley's Jack-O-Lantern snack cake today to compliment his coffee at a cafe in Buena Vista. He had no plans to smash it against his forehead, but he eventually caved into the pressure.

"I just kept worrying about the damage Terrell Owens could do over Julius Jones and one thing lead to another with the marshmellow cake," explained Steve.

"I've heard of stress eating ... but stress beating?!" asked Kansas Kelly, a regular visitor on the website forums, "I think we need to work on new ways for you to cope with stress other than striking out at baked goods!"

As seen in the adjacent photo, Steve's team (the "Garbage Cans") has a 17.80 point lead over his opponent and he is counting on Julius Jones (#21) to perform well enough to hold off any points by wide receiver Terrell Owens.

While Steve is one of many enthusiastic participants in the Fantasy Football League, people seemed taken aback by Steve's nervousness and how seriously he is taking his fantasy football team.

"You know, you are just odd sometimes," stated Marcy, a friend and coffee shop patron who witnessed the event.

Sharon in Colorado Springs offered a unique perspective: "I commend you on selecting pastry with coconut as it's probably good for your skin at least."

Steve has fallen in trouble numerous times over questionable and compulsive behaviors. Two years ago, a similar article was written about his habit of smashing things against his head, but apparently, things have not changed much.

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