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Funny News Stories (Odd, Bizarre, Sort of Funny?)

There was a period in the early days of this website, where I wrote odd news stories about myself. I guess I was inspired by The Onion. Some are funny. Some are bizarre. Hey, I tried my best to entertain. On this page are the best "news stories" that some of my friends have liked.

Steve and Copy Machine.
Me beside a workplace copy machine that broke Lou Gehrig's record.

News stories written by Steve Garufi. Facebook - Twitter - Pinterest - YouTube

Colorado Adopt a Highway Sign Adopt a Highway Motive Scandal - Steve admitted the real reason why he started the Adopt a Highway litter removal program on Highway 24 in Manitou Springs.
Rips in Three Pairs of Pants - Most people don't notice unless Steve points it out!
Steve Garufi Antique Bottle of Mineral Water - Steve drinks mineral water that's 38-years-old, and you know what happens! :o)
11 Red Vines Eaten For Breakfast - Red Vines and apple-flavored soda, and Steve didn't get sick!

Candy House Christmas House Becomes Crack House Replica - The Christmas candy house at the Blackburn residence has seen better days.
Unhealthy Breakfast Bad Breakfast Meal - Dry Ramen Noodles, yogurt pretzels and candy corn flavored soda for breakfast.
Steve Avoids Kansas Turnpike - "That's ridiculous for the Kansas Turnpike to ask for money," a friend said. "Maybe you should have pulled to the toll booth expecting them to pay you."
I Owe The World An Apology Sadness and Weeping for Iowa Residents - When thinking about the possibility that anyone might live their whole life in Iowa, Steve broke down in tears.
George Constanza Wallet George Costanza Wallet - A photo of Steve's George Constanza wallet shows it's packed with receipts and so much junk.
17 Years Shirt Anniversary - A Chaps Ralph Lauren shirt was in my wardrobe for 17 years, and I had a celebration with friends about the milestone.
Scrabble Tiles Scrabble Blowout Win - It was an ass-kicking. A blowout of epic proportions. I once beat my friend Jae in Scrabble by the score of 495-236. :)
Banging Things Against His Head - Steve has had this awful habit of impulsively banging things against his forehead.
Ms. Pac Man Game High Score in Ms. Pac Man - I got the high score, a whooping 150,080 points, on a Ms. Pac Man game.
Chris Stewart on Couch House Guest Loves Green Couch - "Tell them I'm completely psyched about the couch," said Chris Stewart, "That couch is my friend."

Also: Apple looks like Boki's stomach.

UFO Sighting Photo UFO Sighting - Three UFOs seen from my Manitou Springs apartment. Crazy night!
Blonde Girl Stranges Steve on Couch - Things got out-of-hand at a Bible study in Colorado Springs. Lisa lost her temper and strangled Steve on a couch.
Hug a Cactus Kiss and Hug of Cactus Goes Horribly Wrong - It was intended for good, but a kiss and hug of a barrel cactus in Tucson went horribly wrong!
Lunch Fish Sticks and Waffles - An interesting lunch combination: fish sticks and waffles
Text Message Text Messages To West Coast Friends - Early morning text messages to west coast friends; some are woken up from sleep.
Farmer's Tan Farmer's Tan - After a century bicycle ride, Steve showed his "farmer's tan" to his friends.
Extreme Ironing in Colorado Extreme Ironing - British film maker does extreme ironing on Pikes Peak.
Ms. Pac Man Game High Score in Ms. Pac Man - Steve got the high score at a Ms. Pac Man machine at the arcade in Manitou Springs.

Also: Mountain rednecks pay tribute to Steve and this website.

Coffee Spill Chocolate Latte Spilled On Floor - Such a shame to see a latte drink wasted like that!
Coffee Creamer Incident Goes Bad - An attempt to drink an entire bottle of coffee creamer had a yucky ending.
Root Beer Floats Two Root Beer Floats For Breakfast - A breakfast that ended with Steve barfing as his roommate laughed and took pictures.
Knees Bony Knees Revered Among Friends - Steve's knees were declared "sex symbols" and beacons of peace and prosperity throughout the land.
Steve Garufi Laptop Steve Caught Using Neighbor's Wi-Fi - Steve was caught red-handed using his neighbor's wi-fi in Buena Vista.

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